


Follow

by stardropdream



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 18:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2078337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardropdream/pseuds/stardropdream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He takes up Excalibur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Follow

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the tags on [this post](http://jlarinda.tumblr.com/post/93102909027) and because I enjoy the pain having just finished my Merlin rewatch last night.

The weight is heavy in his hand, unbearably present, the curve of dust and gold and metal – a king’s blade. He should throw it, return it to the lake, return it for when Arthur can hold it again. His fingers prick with that magic, with that destiny and—

And instead he holds to it. 

And instead he looks at Arthur, lying upon the boat as if in gentle sleep – he’s taken the unbearable care of laying him out in comfort, threading his fingers together above his chest, and there is no greater pain than feeling the heat seep away from his body, until it is merely a body. 

But it — he is still Arthur to him. 

He watches him as he leaves, floating, as if unreal—

Can’t tear his eyes away, the weight of Excalibur heavy and present in his hand, a reminder. 

Once he is out of sight, Merlin closes his eyes. 

He takes up Excalibur. He can feel the stirring in the air, can feel the Sidhe’s disapproval, their alarm, as Merlin moves Excalibur until the blade is pressing to his chest, tip sharp against his heart. 

Merlin breathes out, looks out over the lake one last time, to the last spot where he saw Arthur’s boat disappear into the mist. 

And he falls forward onto the blade. 

And closes his eyes. The pain is excruciating, but the pain of life is unbearable. 

He opens his eyes to mist, to water and air and earth, the fire that courses in his veins. He looks, or at least has the sensation that he is looking. And he steps, or at least has the sensation that he is stepping. And he moves, through the shift between worlds, follows after the only person he would wish for, the only person for whom he’d wait a thousand years, but—

“Arthur.” 

And he sees the way his head turns, how he seems to fade in and out, a mist and a breath of air, a shadow of earth, a wisp of water and air. 

“Merlin?” the voice feels and is far away, but it becomes part of Merlin, and Merlin smiles again, even though, already, it has felt like an eternity. 

He smiles, and if he were still of a mortal body, he thinks he would cry, his voice choked up, constricting, with something like grief and happiness at once, and he still holds Excalibur – lets it drop, lets it return to the lake. 

He steps forwards, towards his king. If Arthur cannot stay with him – then he will follow, just as he always has. Just as he always will.

“I figured I’d tag along. I didn’t want you getting lost or scared.” 

And Arthur smiles.


End file.
